


The Husband, the Wife and the Hound

by Sunnytyler001



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: F/M, Future Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-29
Updated: 2011-12-29
Packaged: 2017-10-28 10:53:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/307120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sunnytyler001/pseuds/Sunnytyler001
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Future!fic. After the war and the victory of the Dragon Queen, the new Hand is given a leave to go back to his castle to start a new life with his wife. They are escorted by an old "friend"...</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Husband, the Wife and the Hound

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ConnecticutJunkie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConnecticutJunkie/gifts).



This was without a doubt the worst journey Tyrion had ever made. Even the trip to the Eyrie with Catelyn Stark as jailer had been a delight when compared to this.

Oh, he was no prisoner this time of course, but the Imp couldn’t help but wish he was thousands of miles away from here. He bet his lovely companions wished the same.

If he was not there, the Hound and Lady Sansa would most likely be free to fuck against every tree of this damned forest.

But Sansa was still his wife and they had to keep up appearances, hadn’t they? To think that he was the husband and he was the one playing chaperone!

Him of all men!

This was ridiculous.

What was even more ridiculous was the way Lady Sansa and that blasted dog were behaving. It was as if they didn’t dare look at each other. Every time Sansa began to turn her head in the Hound’s direction, she changed her mind and started to blush. Was she ashamed of her feelings or was she afraid of what he would think of her?

The Hound, for his part, was brooding, as always. He didn’t drink anymore but he was still his charming self. What the girl found in this very discourteous dog, Tyrion couldn’t say. Of course, his height and his strength helped, the Imp supposed. Also, she was a wolf and he was a dog. Maybe their union was more natural than the one of a she-wolf with a lion, as small as he might be.

Really, if he was the reason why they were not jumping in each other’s arms, they shouldn’t mind. Love is a precious thing. When you had the chance to be close to the one your heart had chosen, you should be happy about it, kiss your beloved instead of exchanging awkward glances when you thought no one was looking.

Tyrion sighed and bit his tongue nervously.

Of course, if he were a better man, he would tell them to follow their hearts and be done with it.

But he couldn’t.

If he were honest, he’d admit he was jealous. Why should they be happy when he couldn’t? Why could they have each other when he didn’t have Tysha?

And why had his little wife decided to fall in love with the Hound? Of course, she hadn’t decided to. No one ever did but seriously, the Hound was as ugly as he was. Was it just a matter of size? The whores had never seemed to mind and he was a skilled lover, small or not.

Nevertheless, even if he let Sansa and the Hound become lovers, what would happen? He would let his family’s dog fuck his wife every night while he went to the whore house? He would be the kingdom’s main subject of mockery for sure!

On the other side, he already was.

Tyrion chuckled, thinking that the heirs to Casterly Rock would be the great-grand children of the kennel master. What a laugh in deed.

And yet, it had all begun so well.

His brother, the Hound and a lady knight called Brienne had found Lady Sansa in the Eyrie and rescued her from Littlefinger. Then, they had crossed paths with the dragon queen and her new hand, the smartest, noblest imp in the seven kingdoms, or so Queen Daenerys had called him.

Tyrion smiled thinking of his queen and how good and generous she had been to him, agreeing to exile Jaime instead of feeding him to her dragons as she had first wanted to.

She had given him back his father’s castle and had granted him leave so he could go to his childhood home for a few months and build a family with his wife.

Lady Sansa had become as pale as death when she had heard those words. Obviously, she had hoped he would grant her an annulment so she could go back to her precious Winterfell.

He should do it. Of course, he should. He should order the Hound to take her there and stay with her, protect her, fuck her if that was really what they both wanted.

He could imagine his life if they stayed with him at Casterly Rock.

His father had often advised his children not to feed the dog at the table. Well, the new lady of his castle would share her bed with the bloody animal.

Tyrion could see himself coming back from the whorehouse in the morning and see the Hound going out of his wife’s room.

He would greet him and tell him something witty: “Well, good morning to you, Sandor. I hope you have well honoured my wife last night. Oh, and I do hope you haven’t broken her bed. Again.”

He would spend his day working on the state affairs, while Sansa would be in another room, most likely sewing. Sandor would be guarding her door, growling at everyone who would dare disturb his mistress. He would certainly growl at him. There is nothing more jealous than a dog with a bone.

Then dinnertime would come and they would eat in an awkward silence. Sansa, as courteous as ever, would try and make conversation. The Hound would be standing by her side and Tyrion would jest that he should sit with them at the table. After all, if he shared his wife’s bed, why not their meal?

Night would soon fall and they would all go to bed. Sansa with her dog and him in his lonely room. He wondered if he could pass his door with such great horns. He would try to sleep but wouldn’t be able to with his wife and her lover’s noisy coupling.

He would drum on the adjoining wall and shout at them to be quieter. They could fuck all they want but respect for other people’s sleep was a basic rule. Even for a dog and his wolf-bitch.

Their whispers of love, sweet moaning and grunts would have teased his own needs and he would go to the closest whorehouse where a pretty brunette (or two) would be surely waiting for him.

And the days would pass, very much alike, and soon Sansa would become pregnant.

Looking at Sandor behind him, Tyrion thought that their pups would look very much like Starks, from the darkness of their hair to the grayness of their eyes.

Tyrion acquiesced that the Hound was made to live in the North. It was not only his appearance; it was also his refusal to be a knight, the bluntness of his speech.

Maybe he reminded the girl of the men of her pack.

The more he thought about it, the more it became obvious to Tyrion that he had to let them go. He remembered listening to a song about a king whose queen had run away with one of his knights and how he had not been able to forgive them, condemning both of them to death.

This was all very romantic, and he bet that Sansa wouldn’t mind dying in the name of love, but Tyrion thought it was far too melodramatic for his tastes.

Besides, the king was madly in love with his queen. Tyrion found Sansa desirable- she was without a doubt one of the most beautiful young women in Westeros- however, he was not in love with her.

He hoped sincerely he never would as he knew her heart would never be his.

Tyrion wanted to be loved more than anything and Sansa never would. She belonged to another man.

They were now riding side by side and this made Tyrion laugh despite of himself. Oh, they made a lovely picture, didn’t they? The husband, the wife and the lover.

Well, not the lover. Not yet, at least. And if he commended Sansa to be his wife in truth and to stay faithful to him, he knew she would. She would endure his kisses and caresses. She would lay in his bed, close her eyes tightly and most likely think of another man. And this time, it wouldn’t be the knight of flowers.

Tyrion turned his head in Sansa’s direction. She didn’t let her emotions show. Her life in King’s Landing had taught her to hide herself behind a mask. Obviously, she had become even better at this game but Tyrion knew she was deeply unhappy.

So it was settled. He would give her and her dog their freedom.

However, he would first have some fun at their expense.

The unlikely trio kept on riding until the sun turned west, in the direction of Casterly Rock. This would be their last night outdoors. Tyrion smirked, thinking of his plan and how this night would be surely memorable.

When Sandor unpacked their bedding, Tyrion took them and put them side by side.

Sandor and Sansa exchanged worried glances. They surely wondered what in the seven hells he had in mind, poor dears.

“My Lord?” His wife asked.

“Yes, my lady? Is there a problem?” Tyrion asked back, taking his most innocent expression.

“Why are you putting our bedding so close?”

There was fear in her melodious voice and Tyrion felt sorry for the girl. But he was having too much fun.

“Why, my dear, the nights are cold. You, Starks, were right, winter is here. I thought we’d share a bit of warmth.”

Sansa started playing with her hands nervously and nodded in agreement.

Tyrion sat on the bedding in the middle and tapped softly on his left.

“Come on, my dear. It is time to sleep.” He added, trying badly to hide the amusement in his voice.

“You too, Sandor. There is place also for you. If you promise not to steal the blankets, of course.”

He saw the giant shrug and turn away from them.

“I don’t need to sleep. I’ll stand vigil while you both rest.” He rasped.

Tyrion couldn’t see his face, but he knew Clegane didn’t like the idea of him sleeping with Sansa. His irritation was obvious even if he was trying to sound indifferent.

“Oh, come on, Hound. You’re not going to start and play the true knight, are you? One could think you are trying to impress some young lady.”

Sansa blushed at the insinuation and Tyrion smiled. Good. This was exactly the reaction he was expecting.

“Besides, as I already said, the night is going to be bloody cold. You wouldn’t want our little bird to freeze to death, would you?” Tyrion continued, teasing pitilessly the Hound.

At those words, Sandor Clegane growled and turned sharply in his direction. The Imp thought that, if he hadn’t been a Lannister and so, his master, he would have already been dead. Sandor would have cut him into pieces for daring to call Sansa “Little bird”.

Possessive, eh?

Reluctantly, Sandor laid at his right, his enormous form taking much of the space. But Tyrion didn’t comment on it.

Instead, he sighed happily, as if he had never been more comfortable in his life.

“Well, my dear fellows, I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship! Don’t you think, wife?”

Oh, dear, he was so enjoying this.

Sansa was not. The poor girl was at ill-ease and she nodded weakly.

“Yes, we are going to make quite a good team the three of us. I think we should make a habit of this.”

Tyrion felt the Hound’s head turning violently in his direction and Sansa’s eyes widened in shock.

“What in the buggering seven hells are you talking about, Imp?” the Hound shouted in his ear.

“The three of us, lying together, under warm blanket. Isn’t it cozy? As I am sure you know, I have an open-mind and I’ve always thought that free weddings lasted the longest. And it is not as we were strangers, aren’t we, my dear Sandor?”

Tyrion batted his eye lashes, his face way too close to the Hound’s. He was fighting against himself not to burst in laughing at the look of horror playing in Clegane’s eyes.

Obviously, his advances were worse than fire. Good to know!

Sandor flew from the bedding as it had been burning and decided to spend the night very far from the Imp.

Tyrion, from his part, had never spent an evening more entertaining.

In the morning, Clegane sent death glares to him but this actually made the Imp smile. He would have thrown kisses at him, but that would have been going too far, even for him.

They rode in silence until they reached Casterly Rock. His father’s castle had lost none of its grandeur and Tyrion wondered if, after seeing the beauty of the place, his wife wouldn’t change her mind and find him suddenly a lot more attractive.

Their lives settled quite well on the rock, quiet and built around a comfortable daily routine. Sansa was in all points a dutiful wife, except for the nights which she spent alone in her room.

She was a very nice companion, conversing with him about politics and literature, playing chess with much skill. But of course, as Tyrion knew, she would never share his bed.

A month had passed before the Imp could realize it and he finally realized it was quite time to put an end to his silly game.

Of course, it had been extremely entertaining. The most amusing jest had been when he had offered to his wife an adorable little dog, with curly hair and a pink bow. Sansa had been very happy but the Hound had not appreciated the adorable small animal being named for him.

Tyrion chuckled thinking of that day as if it had happened an hour ago.

Tonight, he had summoned his wife and her sworn shield in the keep as he had another present for her. He bet Clegane hoped it was not another puppy.

What a good jest that had been!

When Sansa came into the room, the surprise was obvious on her face. Tyrion was not alone. He had also invited a brother of the faith.

Tyrion had for a long time thought of playing one last jest to Sandor, pretending that the faith was calling him back. But the Brother wouldn’t have understood his unique sense of humour.

The Imp approached his wife and took her lovely hand in his.

“My lady, please let me introduce you to the Brother Dryon.”

Lady Sansa bowed her head to the man of the Faith in sign of respect and salutation.

“Brother, please be the welcome in Casterly Rock. Have you already eaten? My husband has one of the best vintage in the seven kingdoms. I am sure you would appreciate it.” Sansa said politely.

Gods, the girl was indeed the perfect wife. Giving her away to Clegane was a waste, Tyrion thought bitterly. But she had deserved her part of happiness and if it was the dog she truly wanted, she’d have him.

“I’ve already eaten and drank more than reasonable, thank you, my lady.”The pious man answered “My Lord Lannister told me I have a wedding to celebrate.”

Sansa looked at her husband, her perfect eyebrows rising in surprise.

“Yes!” said Tyrion “But first, I have to give a certain document to my lady.”

Tyrion took a parchment from one of the drawers of his writing desk and handed it to his lady wife.

Sansa unrolled it and read it silently. The shock was obvious on her face. Then, she fell on her knees in front of him and took him hesitantly in her arms.

Would he have been wrong? Was it him she loved? Did she want to stay with him as lady of Casterly Rock? Tyrion would welcome her with open arms, but then, as he saw her eyes, it wasn’t love he read inside of those beautiful sapphires. It was gratitude.

He had given her her freedom back and she was happy about it.

“Thank you, my Lord” Sansa said, with tears in her eyes. “Thank you so much.”

“There, there, my child.” Tyrion said, while drying her tears “This wedding was a bad jest from the start. However, I have to put a condition to our annulment.”

There was a flash of worry in her beautiful eyes and the Imp felt guilty for breaking this moment of sheer happiness.

“The only condition to this annulment will be that you stay part of House Lannister.”

Sansa frowned, still not understanding what he meant.

“As I am the Last of the Lannisters, I want you to marry a Lannister bannerman.”

As Sansa seemed to think about this, Tyrion turned to the Hound’s direction and threw him a playful smile.

Obviously, the dog was starting to understand but was struggling to believe it. Tyrion confessed to himself that, if he had been in his place, he wouldn’t have either. A lord giving his lady to the grandson of the kennelmaster, that didn’t happen every day.

Taking his chance, Sandor Clegane put a knee to the ground in front of lady Sansa, his eyes looking at hers intently.

Tyrion almost felt like an intruder, witnessing such an intimate moment but he knew that the happy couple would have much more joyful times together behind closed doors.


End file.
